4/22/11

I'v been feeling like shit lately. Everything just isn't going right. Who should I even trust anymore.

I think I can trust you, but you are two faced. You say one thing, and then act another way. I don't know if you tell others what you know about me. I always hear your judgements about others, and I wonder what you say to others about me. I always feel like you are the one that I have to impress. Why do your judgement affect mines so much.

You I can not trust.

I tell you things, that I know I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't tell you all those things and let myself be open to you. I know I'm not special to you. There are so many other that trust you, can tell you everything. I don't know how many others you do talk to. I don't know how many many others you treat the same. I want to just believe it is me, but I can't lie to myself.

I shouldn't have done what I did. I made things too obvious. I know I shouldn't put you through the same shit I felt, especially since it was you, and the roles are now reversed. I know how it feels to see him with another girl.

You didn't take the chance, so I went ahead and took mine. I undersand what you are going through, and yet I am not helping you out. I'm acting like a beezy cause I feel you do the same.

I have been so selfish lately. But no one knows what I go through,what do they have to make judgements. Everyone has problems, and their own securities, and this is just how I deal with mine.